Tonight I realized something. I'm quite certain I've discovered this piece of information before but maybe it just sunk in tonight.
Happiness is really about choosing to be happy. Fear is really about choosing to be afraid. Anger is really about choosing to be angry.
Every emotion is a choice.
I've had a lot of different emotions recently.
- Uselessness for not having a "real" job. My attitude towards being a stay-at-home-mom really needs adjustment. Being here with my wee one is extremely important. Raising the wee one myself and not paying someone to do it for me is important to me, baby, and my husband.
- Sad about being stuck in a military town that I don't really like. It doesn't really resemble home in any way and I don't have any friends here. I'm kind of a home-body and I just like hanging out with the wee one.
- Excited about the prospect of moving soon.
Lately I've thought a lot about homeschooling the wee one. I have been reading homeschooling handbooks. The more I learn about it, the more I really think I can do it... and the more I think I really do want to do it. I know that if I do choose to do this, I'll have to be on my game, and I'll have to resign myself to not working outside of the home. I doubt I'll ever go back to being a nurse again--and the more I pursue this path for my wee one, the more I realize that it will be very difficult for me to go back to school for my BSN myself.
With that said, I'm going to start being happy. Because I deserve to be happy for myself and with my life, my wee one deserves to have a happy mother, and my husband deserves a happy wife. I've made this decision; it's an important one.
