My husband and I were invited to a dinner party last night. He was tasked to bring a fruit platter. I had an old plastic platter left over, so instead of spending $30 on a new one, I just went out and bought some fruit, cut it up, and put it in the platter. This has no bearing on the story, but I was proud of how it turned out. :)
What would have cost me $30 ended up costing me $8, and I had 3/4 of a watermelon, 2 heads of broccoli, a nearly-whole bag of carrots, and 1/2 a cantaloupe left over for me to enjoy. I ended up using a yogurt that was unopened but expiring soon as a dipping sauce for the middle portion. ANYway. :)
So, we went to this dinner party. I don't know anyone there (they're all my husbands friends), and I'm feeling super-awkward. I try to stick to my husband's side because I tend to be shy until I warm up to the atmosphere.
Three people there were military wives. What did we talk about? Here are the standard questions every military wife must ask the other when having a conversation for the first time and they're usually asked in this order:
- Where are you from? (Chances are VERY good that you're all not originally from where you're stationed at the moment.)
- Do you like it?
- How long have you guys been here so far?
- How long have you guys been married? (In my experience, enlisted tend to spend less time dating so when you hear an Officer's wife say 2 years, you might bet they've been together for years longer than that. This isn't always true, but it's just what I've observed.)
- How many times has your husband deployed?
- For how long?
- Were you married when he was deployed?
- Did you have kids then?
- Do you work? (Most don't so things start to go downhill from here...)
- What does your husband do? (This is probably a boring answer, too. It's probably something like "Work in the motor pool" or "He's infantry"... okay and that means what?)
- (All of the military wives there were breastfeeding new babies. I had my 16 month-old who is still breastfeeding. I suppose in this case you could add:)
- How long do you plan to breastfeed? (or) Have you had any trouble with it yet?
- Are you guys co-sleeping (bed-sharing)?
People like to pretend there is some sisterhood in being a military wife. We're all as different as the general population. It's just a bunch of people thrown together in an unusual circumstance and we have to get along.
It's been a really lonely time for me. I'm a couple-thousand miles away from home. I have no family here and I was super close to my family before I moved. I miss them and I miss my home state and the climate there. I guess I'm homesick.
The friends that I've made here so far have moved away in the short time I've known them because they got stationed somewhere else or got out of the military. We all pretend we'll keep in touch, but it never happens that way (also, I'm not on FB anymore, anyway!... that makes keeping in touch a lot less likely).
I guess I'm feeling jaded with the whole military thing. I've been at this for 7 years now (a girlfriend for most of it). Anyway, I think you really have to be cut out for this lifestyle. I don't mind moving a lot. That's actually pretty cool... getting to start over. Being able to be a teeny, tiny bit more open about my religion is also kinda nice. I still don't wear my pentacle when I know I'll be around people who know me or my husband. But if we go to the neighboring town a few miles away and I'm feeling adventurous then I'll wear a Pagan-themed necklace. I get tired of hiding.
Aaaand there you have it. That's pretty much it. That sounds like a hoot, doesn't it? Like a really whimsical time, eh? Don't you want to be a military wife now?
